Good evening, CitiBoi here, just thought I'd let you all know why the blog has died an entirely unexpected death. While the idea was brilliant, I failed to bring into account the reality of the situation that emotions can catch you completely off guard.
About four weeks ago in an entirely unexpected turn of events, I felt sad. Now, that sounds quite lame, but it's all part of the story, so either you read it or you don't, but I'm typing it all up anyway.
Like I said, sad, but not run of the mill under the weather, but true sadness, an emptiness inside me and the knowledge that something was missing. What makes this truly strange, however, is the fact that over the last four or five years I have been pretty much faking all of my emotions. I believed that I was feeling them for awhile, but the truth is that I haven't, I was numb and it was something that I had grown to accept. But on this Sunday night, I wasn't, the numbness went away, and was, instead, replaced by pain. Longing, sadness and heartache. And I rejoiced.
Now, that probably sounds crazy too, but it wasn't, it was epic, it was awesome, because once you realize how numb you are, you kind of miss the feelings that you once had, the emotions like joy and happiness, which were worth the occasional sadness. So yes, I was ecstatic. Got in my car and drove to my favorite lookout point in Jozi where I could sit and look out at all the lights, marvel at their beauty and reflect on what was going on in my life. It is at this point when I realized something else, something that in it's effects, would end Project CitiBoi.
I had been talking to a lady, one of the 'contestants' in the project, for sometime at this point, we have shared deep thoughts and excellent conversations, but I was never too sure about certain aspects of her, and had not actually been on a date with her yet. Her name; HottieMcLonglegs.
So, then everything changed, because in that moment, sitting and looking at the world below me, I started talking to her again, we chatted for a few hours and she made me decide something there and then. I wanted to know more about this girl, I wanted to get to know her, everything about her... I started falling in love with a girl who has come to prove to me that not only is everything that I have ever thought that I want in a companion, but she is oh so much more...
That Concludes Part One of the post, please stay tuned for the updates...