Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Danger, here be dragons!!!

I find that the old cartography habit of denoting dangerous and/or unexplored areas with the phrase; "Here Be Dragons" is oddly fitting within the context of my rant for the day.

The subject: WOMENFOLK!!! ARGH!!! DESPAIR!!! (And yes, they all are the one and same thing.

So, what valuable insight I have been able to glean over the past weekend is simply that girls take affront to your declaration of love if you follow it up by hitting on other females, despite their verbal assurances that they do not share your interest.

Now, as a dude, I am fully able to appreciate the subtle differences that exist between emotional and purely physical relationships, and further that, find that when your emotional needs aren't necessarily being met (in my example, I am single, and have been for some time) you can substitute a physical relationship in order to reduce the heartache and feelings of emptiness...

Well, apparently this is not acceptable, as the two major incidents in the past few months have illustrated. Simply said, the first time I made this mistake, I lost a good friend. The second time however is the one that I am actually still reeling from, as this is a more complicated situation.

My major question, however, is this; If I told a girl that I have feelings for her, and would like to persue these feelings within the context of a romantic relationship, and she then makes it apparent that she does not share these feelings, and I end up hooking up with another girl two weeks later, how is this in any way my fault?

Well, since I cannot expect all females to be as enlightened as to the major differences between men and women, I will in future not act the same way, and further that, will not give up on the last girl (The first one no longer holds any appeal for me), which means, that now it's time for me to actually start acting more like a girl in my actions in future, with specific importance being given to the matter of persuing physical relationships in order to satisfy emotional needs... Argh!!!

So my next question, if a girl admits that she lied earlier, and actually has feelings for me, but is unwilling to perue them as a mutual female friend has declared her feelings towards myself, making it hard to do so, would it be the correct course of action to alter my lifestyle and patiently wait until said third party finds a new mate freeing up the current alleged situation and allowing the first party to now persue a romantic relatioinship with the second (ie. Myself)?

Or was that simply meant as a slight encouragement to seek emotional fulfillment elsewhere? Please do contribute and share your opinions and views on the matter, as I am unable to see any course of action other than that which I explained in the previous paragraph....


mebelee said...

It's very simple actually. It's jealousy.
See, the girl probably doesn't have the same feelings for you, as she said. But to hear you say that to her gave her a sense of a "Safety Net" and quashed those pesky insecure feelings that every girl has. So, having you like her made her feel good, appreciated and loved.

But then you hooked up with someone else, and she got jealous, and angry. Why angry? Because, in her mind, your crush lay with her and someone else could just sweep in and take those feelings.

If I were you, I would keep the friendship with the girl, showing subtle signs of interest. But carry on hooking up other girls. This way, she will realise that you are wanted by the opposite sex, and this will force her to bring out her naturally competitive nature and ensnare you while she still holds a chance.

Does it make sense? Nope. I know. Girls have a myriad of never ending complexities and contradictions.

BuFf0k said...

Hence the title... You females, eish... On the plus side, I had a conversation with the lady in question during the early hours of Monday morning. And she told me that she actually does have feelings for me, while unwilling to hurt the third party, she also is not impressed by my philandering ways. So I still think my decision to change my earthly ways and attempt to fix the third party up with a worthwile mate is the best one... Apparantly an earlier debate with the first party regarding these feelings presented an answer as to my timing and further questioning revealed that she did indeed have feelings for me prior to my introducing her to the third party in a social context, something that she had neglected to mention to me until Monday... Thanks for the advise, plausibly it could be argued that those were my motivations for entering into the physical relationship(s) outsside of the relationship with the first party in the first place...